no power in the 'verse

Hi everyone,

I am officially retired! (Yes)

FYI: I do not check my e-mails very often any more (oops). Therefore, if you have important information for me that needs a response prior to say… three weeks from the day you are sending me your original e-mail please give me a phone call and leave a message on my voice mail instead of only contacting me via e-mail.

Again, thank you for recycling and using recycled materials!

Enjoyable auto-response from someone who perhaps does not understand how email works.

#ooo
1 year ago on January 03, 2012 at 10:37am with 3 notes

[John Doe] will be out of the office until Tuesday, August 2. He mayh read his e-mail but it mayh not be on the same day that it is sent.

You “mayh” need to re-read your out of office message. :)

#OOO #humor
1 year ago on July 18, 2011 at 09:16am with 1 note

I shall be away in New England from June 28th till July 19th, 2011. Starting Monday June 27th afternoon or evening I shall no longer be reading my email at […].

I may perhaps be able to access my email while in New England, depending on whether my hosts have the Internet. Please do not keep me on a list for “broadcast” entertainment email, and please only email me for truly important & urgent matters.

There will be Brothers at […] that you may contact if necessary. Residence hallway phone is […] without voice mail. If urgent, ring long for it may just be Br. [John Doe] who cannot move fast. Even others have a longish walk to reach the nearest booth.

Have a good remainder of summer.

A sweet out-of-office reply from a monk(?).

#OOO
1 year ago on July 11, 2011 at 04:12pm

Over a decade of experience has taught me that overuse of email is the worst obstacle to my ability to work at maximum efficiency for the good of my clients. Therefore I am reducing my use of email. If you have an important communication for me please either telephone me at […] or send me a fax at […]. Please feel free to ask for either Paralegal [Jane Doe] or Firm Administrator [Mary Major] if you call on the telephone and I am not available. You may also feel free to email [Jane] at […@…com] or [Mary] at […@…com]. Thank you very much for your courtesy.

This might be one of my all-time favorites: “Email is distracting, so don’t email me. Instead, call or fax or … email my colleagues.”

#OOO #wtf #humor
1 year ago on July 10, 2011 at 04:05pm with 3 notes

Thank You for your e-mail If you do not receive an answer to your e mail Please Type MACAW IN SUBJECT BOX and resend

In which I begin my series on the … interesting … out-of-office replies my organization receives and I monitor as part of the “customer service” portion of my job.

#OOO #wtf #humor
1 year ago on July 09, 2011 at 04:05pm with 4 notes